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Monday, April 18, 2011

Word of the Day: Passing

passing (n): it's a lot easier to accept myself if you accept me first

Responce to "List of Cisgender Privileges"

The other day, a friend and transgender activist posted a "List of Cisgender Privilages" that she had found online. This list, a notable transgender meme, was supposedly inspired by "White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack," a shortened form of feminist and anti-racist scholar and activist Peggy McIntosh's 1988 essay "White Privilege and Male Privilege: a Personal Account of Coming to See Correspondences through Work in Women's Studies." This latter work, though at present a tad dated, is a serious player in Gender Studies circles, and McIntosh is a well-respected figure.

This list inspired by her work, though, isn't as brilliant. To the positive, the list - which I will post here and to which I will respond line-by-line - makes some solid and impactful assessments; to the negative, though, it makes just as many half-baked ones, which neither further the movement for social equality and justice for transgender people nor paints a totally-accurate account of their realities.

The author of this particular list is unknown. Additionally, what I like about said list is that it looks upon cisgender people as the subject. Too often, non-heteronormative people are studied and scrutinized as the "other," meaning that almost all research fails to look back and study the majority. This list attempts to undo this problem by studying the majority, something expertly suggested by Toni Morrison in her 1992 piece Playing in the Dark: Whiteness and the Literary Imagination.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Word of the Day: Refractory Period

refractory period (n): the timespan, usually in a male, after orgasm in which a person is incapable of achieving another orgasm

After a male orgams, his penis becomes flaccid and he cannot orgasm for some time; this is the refractory period. The vast, vast majority of males experience a refractory period, and it lasts about thirty minutes on average. It is normal for a man's refractory period to grow longer as he ages; some studies find that 18-year-old men have a refractory period of about fifteen minutes and 70-year-olds have one that last about two hours. A few males do not have a refractory period, or at least one that is only a few seconds, although they are a very small minority.

Unlike males, females do not usually have a refractory period, and thus they are able to acheive multiple orgams through continued stimulation. Pro Tip, men into women: your refractory period is a great time to focus on your partner, maybe through oral sex or another beloved activity that doesn't require your genitals. She'll definately appreciate this time, gentlemen!

Trannygirl15 on "Why Men Like Transsexuals"

In her vlog “Why Men Like Transsexuals,” trannygirl15 offers her opinions on how and why heterosexual and bisexual men may be attracted to transsexual women. Unfortunately, she gets it all really, really wrong. Now, Maxine does state that she offers her own opinions in her vlog, and you and I can take solace in the fact that her opinions aren’t based on any empirical evidence!

Trannygirl15 begins her video with a pseudo-factoid that really interests me: she claims that men interested in trans women outnumber the latter 20-plus:1. She cites the prevalence of “shemale” pornography as proof of this assertion. Herein begin the fundamental complications with this position. Firstly, in citing pornography, Maxine suggests that porn reflects real-world sexualities. I have major reservations against this assertion, for pornography is a multi-billion dollar industry that utilizes fantasy and compensated models to titillate; real-world sexualities, on the other hand, are intimate and personal, multifaceted and innumerable totalities of sexual experiences that are far too grand and special to capture in a mass-produced product. Just in terms of scale, there’s simply no way that pornography accurately depicts any individual’s whole sexuality, so Maxine’s suggestion falls to inherent fallacy. Secondly, in her insinuation that trans admirers are attracted to “shemale” porn, Maxine forgets that that are plenty of people who are attracted to trans people regardless of their trans identity! That is, Maxine, when someone is attracted to you, who happens to be a transsexual woman, that does not mean that they are interested in you specifically because you are trans; you are a tall, slender, large-breasted woman with an attractive face, and so it’s really not too strange to imagine that strangers might be attracted to you!

Trannygirl15 also recounts a personal anecdote that I find to exhibit a high degree of internalized transphobia. She relates that she has been approached by men at bars several times and, wanting to escape their advances, she decides “to tell them that I am a transsexual… and that will hopefully freak them out a little.” Her underlying argument here, tragically, is that transsexual people are innately undesirable partners; after all, they must be unfashionable partners if revealing one’s trans identity is presumably enough to end unwarranted advances, right? This suggestion proliferates the discourse that transgender and transsexual people are “defective” members of their desired biosex. I find this kind of thinking extremely offensive. I also find it to be counterproductive to the goals of the complete trans equality and integration that Maxine supposedly hopes to inspire through vlogging.

Next, Maxine agrees that “some” admirers of transsexual women may simply be gay men who are subverting their homosexual desires by partnering with the next-best thing. Essentially, the argument here is, “Well, she’s really a man, but she looks feminine enough that no one will think I’m a homo.” The lines of thought behind this assertion are feeble. For one thing, if trans admirers were really just highly-closeted homosexuals, they’d simply just sleep with members of their own sex. Why would they go through this supposed charade of heteronormativity with transsexual women if they were interested in sexing other men all along? If you’ve ever checked any Craigslist personal ad, you’d know that there is a whole world of underground, closeted homo- and bisexual people who are looking to connect with  other closeted people; trans people don’t really fit anywhere into that equation, so it’s confusing (and troublesome) that “guru” Maxine suggests they do. As a gay man myself, I can freely say that we’re not interested in trans women. Why? Because they’re women! We’re hoping for strapping David with overdeveloped arms, a beard, and a chocolaty baritone voice, not beautiful Sarah with curvy hips!
Gay 101

Her next reason why some men might like transsexual women is that these men have a “penis fetish.” Here, trannygirl15 gets the technical definition of a “fetish” wrong. Per the word’s true definition, a fetish is something that a person must have in order to feel sexually satisfied. Thus, there are two issues with Maxine’s thinking: one, most male admirers of trans women already have their own penises (Imagine that!); and two, if they truly require their partner to have a penis in order to feel sexually fulfilled, they would thus have to be exclusively attracted to pre-op or non-op transsexual women or cisgender men so that they could interact with another penis. These logical assumptions, though, don’t stand up to real-world scenarios, for trans admirers are seemingly heterosexual and likely not attracted exclusively to trans women, and thus trannygirl15’s assessment is wrong.

Lastly, she muses that a lack of anatomy education for children might leave some young males with the impression that females have penises, creating a lasting sexual desire for women with penises. For the record, I agree with Maxine’s first argument that there is a serious lack of sex education, which leaves a serious gap in information for young people. The second part of this theory, though, is really far-fetched. By the time puberty begins, word has definitely gotten around that genital sexual dimorphism exists, and I highly doubt that there are many pubescent males masturbating to the image of their friend’s older sister’s penis. Additionally, this argument Maxine makes contradicts her earlier assessment that trans admirers are extremely more numerous than trans women, which creates an impassable paradox.

Dear readers, I think it is important to reflect on why this topic is meaningful at all. After all, the topic, boiled down to its foundation, amounts to “Why do hetero- and bisexual men like women?” as if that’s the most complicated or unfathomable question of the millennium. In her video, I think trannygirl15 unwillingly offers a look into the intellectualizations of transsexual women, a minoritized group of individuals who struggle with overcoming the fallacious stereotypes pushed upon them by pornography. (That’s for another blog.) But, in reality, why is it so important to “figure out” why men might be attracted to trans women. Imagine if you constantly needed to ask and question your partner about why s/he likes you; eventually you’d drive yourself crazy and annoy the hell out of your partner. Instead, there is a degree of mutual suspension of intellectualization that is inherent in pairbonding, and unfortunately, trans people are not yet permitted to experience that suspension due to outside cultural pressures.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Out Magazine's Disrespectful Power 50 List

Today, Out Magazine released their fifth annual Power 50, a list they compile of the fifty most-“power[ful] and talent[ed].” Having the largest monthly circulation of any LGBT periodical with 203,000 copies per month, Out is arguably a major player in LGBT news, identity, and community. It is both disappointing and hurtful, then, that four of the top ten featured individuals are not outly lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender.

Placed this year at number three, Anderson Cooper. Cooper’s place on the list is not in question – after all, he headed the late-2010 national media coverage on the series of suicides by young LGBT people due to bullying; he closelined anti-gay, totally-delusional bigot Andrew Shirvell on stalking and bullying the gay Student-body President of the University of Michigan; and he’s obviously gay. (Thanks, Kathy Griffin!) What is in question, though, is Out’s decision to place him on the top ten, for though he may be very influential and attractive, Anderson Cooper is not out. Unbelievably, Cooper beat out Rachel Maddow, an equally-influential political commentator who is actually brave enough to be open about her lesbianism. (Maddow came in at number four, one spot behind Cooper.)

At number six is Shepard Smith, the longstanding Fox News host of Fox Report with Shepard Smith. Smith’s position on the list is utterly, completely baffling. None of Smith’s official bios note that he is gay or bi; said bios do, however, note that he was once married to a college classmate (a woman) and that the pair divorced in 1993! To add insult to injury, Smith’s show frequently features anti-gay zealots such as Mike Huckabee and Maggie Gallagher. But there are a lot of internet rumors about Smith’s sexuality, aren’t there, Out? So that totally makes his inclusion logical!

Peter Theil, American entrepreneur, hedge fund manager, and Libertarian (aka Ron Paul enthusiast), is number seven. Like Anderson Cooper, Thiel’s inclusion on the list isn’t a complete mystery, for he has supported the American Foundation for Equal Rights and GoProud. However, like the previous two entries, Theil is not out, and may not even be LGBT.

Finally, Barry Diller is number 8. Diller is a very wealthy media executive; indeed, as the list focuses on power, Diller has plenty to go around. His inclusion on Out’s list though, is built entirely on gay rumors began by Andy Warhol, who you can totally believe because he is well-known for telling the truth. Apparently, lots of people assumed that Diller is gay, and ergo he deserves to be on Out’s list. That’s some integrity-filled compiling, Out Magazine!

What upsets me most about Out’s list if the lack of respect for LGBT people found within it. By placing four individuals who are not out, maybe not even LGBT, and not specifically straight allies of the community within the top ten, Out asserts that out LGBT people aren’t worthy of being on a list specifically-designed to celebrate them. Instead, the message that Out’s line-up sends is, “Yeah, confident and brave out LGBT activist, you might be working hard to achieve equality, but you’re not as good as these two closet cases, a really rich guy who some crazy artist wanted to be gay, and a Fox News commentator. They’re the REAL LGBT powerhouses.” Put simply, Out, fuck you.

Out’s actions continue the meme that LGBT people are unworthy, that they deserve to be second-class citizens, that they don’t deserve self-respect and community pride. As an LGBT periodical, Out’s very purpose should be to fight this kind if ideology; Out, however, seemingly disagrees, human dignity be damned.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Ask Sexpertesse: Is my Post-Orgasm Depression Normal?

Dear Sexpertesse,

I am a nineteen-year-old male, and am a healthy person. However, I have this problem: I feel really sad and lonely after masturbating. This problem is so big that it prevents me from even trying most of the time, although I have no problems feeling horny or getting hard or anything like that. Is this normal? Can I do anything to prevent it?

Dear reader,

Take a deep breath, for what you are experiencing is a real thing and you can overcome it!

What you describe is called Post-Coital Tristesse, or PCT. Post-Coital Tristesse means “after-sex” (from Latin) “sadness” (from French), and it is characterized by intense sadness, depression, melancholy, and/or anxiety after orgasm. PCT usually lasts between thirty minutes and two hours. Additionally, PCT supposedly affects more men than women.

Post-Coital Tristesse is caused by a very-predictable flux in hormones that occurs in all humans after orgasm. After orgasm, levels of dopamine – a hormone heavily associated with sexual pleasure – plummet in the brain. At the same time, dopamine is also responsible for regulating the hormone prolactin, which is secreted continuously by the lactotrope cells in the absence of dopamine. With the lack of dopamine, prolactin levels rise, which retards the sexual arousal cycle (causing the refractory period) and, more importantly to the topic, induces the unwanted feelings of negativity. In other words, once a person orgasms, their levels of prolactin increase, which causes the depressive feelings of PCT. PCT, then, is a condition in which a person’s body does not reach hormonal equilibrium quickly enough after orgasm. Fortunately, there is some evidence that suggests that a person can overcome this imbalance in a refreshingly-simple way!

Interesting, some clinical studies have found that as many as 86% of people experiencing PCT are able to overcome it by simply reminding themselves that PCT is nothing more than a chemical imbalance that will soon right itself. Thus, what I recommend to you, dear reader, is this: when next you experience these negative feelings after orgasm, say aloud, “These feelings are not my fault. They are PCT, they will go away as my hormones regularize, and I will feel normal and content again soon!” This method isn’t quirky or unscientific; after all, thinking itself is a neurochemical and –electrical process, just like the unconscious thoughts through which the brain regulates hormone levels. Talk about the power of positive thinking, huh?!

Supposedly, most people will experience Post-Coital Tristesse a few times during their lifetime, but only a few will experience it serially or regularly. For this latter, smaller group, 86% of them will rid of these feelings through education about PCT and the way it works within two years. For those other 14%, though, they may want to consult with an endocrinologist and/or a therapist or sex therapist in their area for different help.