Trannygirl15 on "Why Men Like Transsexuals"

In her vlog “Why Men Like Transsexuals,” trannygirl15 offers her opinions on how and why heterosexual and bisexual men may be attracted to transsexual women. Unfortunately, she gets it all really, really wrong. Now, Maxine does state that she offers her own opinions in her vlog, and you and I can take solace in the fact that her opinions aren’t based on any empirical evidence!

Trannygirl15 begins her video with a pseudo-factoid that really interests me: she claims that men interested in trans women outnumber the latter 20-plus:1. She cites the prevalence of “shemale” pornography as proof of this assertion. Herein begin the fundamental complications with this position. Firstly, in citing pornography, Maxine suggests that porn reflects real-world sexualities. I have major reservations against this assertion, for pornography is a multi-billion dollar industry that utilizes fantasy and compensated models to titillate; real-world sexualities, on the other hand, are intimate and personal, multifaceted and innumerable totalities of sexual experiences that are far too grand and special to capture in a mass-produced product. Just in terms of scale, there’s simply no way that pornography accurately depicts any individual’s whole sexuality, so Maxine’s suggestion falls to inherent fallacy. Secondly, in her insinuation that trans admirers are attracted to “shemale” porn, Maxine forgets that that are plenty of people who are attracted to trans people regardless of their trans identity! That is, Maxine, when someone is attracted to you, who happens to be a transsexual woman, that does not mean that they are interested in you specifically because you are trans; you are a tall, slender, large-breasted woman with an attractive face, and so it’s really not too strange to imagine that strangers might be attracted to you!

Trannygirl15 also recounts a personal anecdote that I find to exhibit a high degree of internalized transphobia. She relates that she has been approached by men at bars several times and, wanting to escape their advances, she decides “to tell them that I am a transsexual… and that will hopefully freak them out a little.” Her underlying argument here, tragically, is that transsexual people are innately undesirable partners; after all, they must be unfashionable partners if revealing one’s trans identity is presumably enough to end unwarranted advances, right? This suggestion proliferates the discourse that transgender and transsexual people are “defective” members of their desired biosex. I find this kind of thinking extremely offensive. I also find it to be counterproductive to the goals of the complete trans equality and integration that Maxine supposedly hopes to inspire through vlogging.

Next, Maxine agrees that “some” admirers of transsexual women may simply be gay men who are subverting their homosexual desires by partnering with the next-best thing. Essentially, the argument here is, “Well, she’s really a man, but she looks feminine enough that no one will think I’m a homo.” The lines of thought behind this assertion are feeble. For one thing, if trans admirers were really just highly-closeted homosexuals, they’d simply just sleep with members of their own sex. Why would they go through this supposed charade of heteronormativity with transsexual women if they were interested in sexing other men all along? If you’ve ever checked any Craigslist personal ad, you’d know that there is a whole world of underground, closeted homo- and bisexual people who are looking to connect with  other closeted people; trans people don’t really fit anywhere into that equation, so it’s confusing (and troublesome) that “guru” Maxine suggests they do. As a gay man myself, I can freely say that we’re not interested in trans women. Why? Because they’re women! We’re hoping for strapping David with overdeveloped arms, a beard, and a chocolaty baritone voice, not beautiful Sarah with curvy hips!

Gay 101

Her next reason why some men might like transsexual women is that these men have a “penis fetish.” Here, trannygirl15 gets the technical definition of a “fetish” wrong. Per the word’s true definition, a fetish is something that a person must have in order to feel sexually satisfied. Thus, there are two issues with Maxine’s thinking: one, most male admirers of trans women already have their own penises (Imagine that!); and two, if they truly require their partner to have a penis in order to feel sexually fulfilled, they would thus have to be exclusively attracted to pre-op or non-op transsexual women or cisgender men so that they could interact with another penis. These logical assumptions, though, don’t stand up to real-world scenarios, for trans admirers are seemingly heterosexual and likely not attracted exclusively to trans women, and thus trannygirl15’s assessment is wrong.

Lastly, she muses that a lack of anatomy education for children might leave some young males with the impression that females have penises, creating a lasting sexual desire for women with penises. For the record, I agree with Maxine’s first argument that there is a serious lack of sex education, which leaves a serious gap in information for young people. The second part of this theory, though, is really far-fetched. By the time puberty begins, word has definitely gotten around that genital sexual dimorphism exists, and I highly doubt that there are many pubescent males masturbating to the image of their friend’s older sister’s penis. Additionally, this argument Maxine makes contradicts her earlier assessment that trans admirers are extremely more numerous than trans women, which creates an impassable paradox.

Dear readers, I think it is important to reflect on why this topic is meaningful at all. After all, the topic, boiled down to its foundation, amounts to “Why do hetero- and bisexual men like women?” as if that’s the most complicated or unfathomable question of the millennium. In her video, I think trannygirl15 unwillingly offers a look into the intellectualizations of transsexual women, a minoritized group of individuals who struggle with overcoming the fallacious stereotypes pushed upon them by pornography. (That’s for another blog.) But, in reality, why is it so important to “figure out” why men might be attracted to trans women. Imagine if you constantly needed to ask and question your partner about why s/he likes you; eventually you’d drive yourself crazy and annoy the hell out of your partner. Instead, there is a degree of mutual suspension of intellectualization that is inherent in pairbonding, and unfortunately, trans people are not yet permitted to experience that suspension due to outside cultural pressures.

Hero: Beth Ditto

Sexpertesse occassionally will feature heroes, people who embody the humanistic principles of this blog. My first hero is the beautiful, talented, and wise Beth Ditto.

"I got my period just 10 minutes before we got there, and I was totally bleeding. I was doing it with my tranny boyfriend, who I’m in love with, and I was totally bleeding — how radical is that? — and I’m a fat person, and I’m a femme." - Beth Ditto about her NME photo shoot

Beth Ditto is best known as the leader singer of the indie rock, queercore group Gossip. With Gossip, Ditto is an unwavering advocate for LGBT rights and feminist causes. Ditto, who is a lesbian, tackled many LGBT and feminist issues during her stint as an advice columnist for The Guardian. You can read her column, What Would Beth Ditto do?, by clicking here.

Ditto is also an inspiration to trans people and their partners; Ditto's partner Freddie is transgender-identified, having transitioned from female-to-male. He and Ditto have been together supposedly since before his transition. Ditto, then, is a rare notable example of a lesbian-identified woman whose partner transitioned into a man. (Though you ladies might have guessed it, Ditto identifies as a femme.)



Beth Ditto and her partner Freddie

Given her outness, then, it might come as a suprise that the controversies that surround Ditto don't focus on her sexuality nor her feminist causes, but instead on her weight. Yeah, you read that correctly: in countries where the status and human-ness of LGBT people are under constant scrutiny (and sometimes up to popular vote), the part that really irks people about Ditto is the size of her waist.

Some, including Alex Bilmes of GQ, have criticized Ditto's weight, claiming her media exposure normalizes unhealthy weights. Ditto's weight has also encircled her success as a fashion icon. Appearing in numerous fashion magazines and runway shows, Ditto is arguably the only fullfigured fashion icon. Marie O’Riordan, former editor of Marie Claire, suggests that Ditto is used by the fashion indstury as a human shield against criticism of their size 0 standard. Ditto, thus, O'Riordan claims, is the fashion industry's attempt to avoid being labeled "body fascists." My questions is, though, does it much matter? No matter their intention in hiring Ditto, she still appears on covers, in spreads, and on runways, meaning, invariably, that some young voluptuous person will see her picture and think, "She's beautiful, and so am I," and thus Ditto's body-positive messages are reaching the very people who need them most.


Ditto at Paris Fashion Week for Spring 2011 collections

 In light of these criticisms, though, Ditto remains dignified, saying, "It's really interesting to me that people will look at a thin person and go, 'That's a healthy person.' To be thin and to stay really thin, some people literally do coke all the time. Some people smoke cigarettes instead of eating. That's crazy. But that's 'okay' because you look healthier." In 2009, Ditto also expanded her body-positive message by releasing a fashion line with Evans, the UK-based plus-size fashion designer and retailer. For readers in the EU, you can purchase some of Ditto's designs by visiting Evans, located here.

Ditto's fearless acceptance of her body, her sexuality, her trans partner; her commitment to body positivism and equal rights; and her rocking style make her a Sexpertesse hero. Please support her by purchasing music by The Gossip or her 2011 solo EP on Amazon or iTunes. The world needs more people like Beth Ditto, and her continued success in music is what permits her to have a relevant voice.