Like their lesbian, gay, and bisexual peers, transgender people can feel very isolated and alone in their communities. In response to this perceived lack of likeminded people, a flourishing community of thoughtful trans individuals began sharing their experiences on YouTube. Over the last four years, this community has skyrocketed in number of vloggers and number of subscribers, making YouTube one of the largest trans community portals on the internet.
Though many identify in their videos simply as "trans," they are, in fact, transsexual people, those who transition both socially and medically from one sex and gender identity to the other.
The premiere of these trans vloggers is Grishno, a trans woman who essentially began the YouTube trans community with her vlog a little more than four years ago. You can access her YouTube profile and her videos by clicking here. In January 2009, she launched grishno.com to further her exposure and reach; the link to grishno.com is here. Grishno enjoys a kind of internet celebrity, if you will, and she focuses more on trans activism than personal experience, meaning that her videos don't always offer incredible insights. But she is a powerful speaker and meaningful figure who deserves to be recognized. Personal note: in November 2010, Grishno was a speaker at the Montana Transgender Day of Recognition, a not-for-profit organization I conceptualized and helped begin with a fabulous trans activist named Bree in 2009; Grishno was a lovely, kind, and vivacious young woman. If you would like to share a laugh with Grishno, check out her hilarious video called "SEX," linked here.
Ashley, I feel, is the heart of thoughtful and intelligent trans discourse. Under the handle icecoldbath, which you can find here, Ashley records the totality of her transition. Seemingly inspired to live as her true self due to the death of her mother, her three-year-long video history chronicles everything from her first hormone replacement therapy regimen to (today) her life mostly-post-transition. Ashley's first moments are particularly tender: piercing her ears and purchasing a pearl bracelet make interesting windows into the feelings of being deprived of the "proper" childhood many trans people experience. More important than the journal of her physical transition, however, Ashley uses her vlog to muse about the philosophical elements of trans identity and community. For example, she tackles her objection to the notion of "stealth" in her video called "stealth is wrong," explores inequality within the trans community in "More Trans than Thou," and deconstructs the semantic meanings of trans community jargon. Truly, Ashley's videos should be watched from beginning to end, if for nothing else than that she sometimes revisits old topics with new perspectives, and you don't want to miss out on that. Ashley's video production has slowed down considerably now that the majority of her physical and social transitions are over, but she does continue to update occassionally. (Ashley, if you ever read this blog, I would very much like to brainstorm with you; please contact me!)
Charlotte is the pseudonymn of a trans woman who vlogs as karmatic1110, who you can find here. She is particularly interesting to me for two reasons. Firstly, Charlotte tends to focus on the darker, sadder elements of being a transsexual person. Though not a happy realm of ideas - and they take obvious tolls on her happiness - these are real, very human aspects of trans identity in modernity. In particular, Charlotte seems to talk about the ways people react to her as a trans person, both online and in person. As a lesbian, she also gives great detail to discrimination against trans women within lesbian communities, a topic that majorly affects her on the personal level. This discussion about the interplay of gender and sexuality is the second reason Charlotte captures me. Though her subject matter is not particularly joyful, Charlotte is unafraid to dive into the topics that bother her most, and in doing so, she offers a perspective that no other trans vlogger provides.
Leonardo is royale76, who you can find at this link. A trans man in Canada, he often focuses on how passing as a cisgender man (which he does very easily) fails to provide him the kind of internal happiness he hopes it will. His ethnic identity as an Arab-Canadian is also discussed in his videos, and becomes particularly important in his coming out process to his family. The majority of his videos, though, focus on self-loathing, particularly on how his internalized transphobia inhibits him from meeting straight women, something he very much wishes to do. His video about what he calls "penis dysphoria" touches on this issue. Since his top surgery, he no longer posts new videos, but his older material is still relevant. It's worth mentioning that Leonardo also does song covers in many of his videos, and he has a lovely voice. He's also quite handsome....
TrannyGirl15 is the screen name of Maxine, a French-Canadian trans woman and prolific vlogger. Her intended audience seems to be younger trans women, who she coaches through various aspects of transition, such as makeup, sex and relationships, and "passing." Like Ashley, Maxine focuses on intellectual aspects of trans identity; unlike Ashley, I disagree with almost everything Maxine has to say! It's true; I've honestly never gotten through a whole TrannyGirl15 video without wholeheartedly disagreeing with something she has to say, but I find that to be a testament to both the magnificent nature of intellectual discourses and her perspicacious personality. Being an intelligent woman, Maxine is a graduate student of artificial intelligence, and so much of her vlog focuses on her transition at school. Maxine is also a femme-identified lesbian. Having saved for her medical transitions, many of her recent videos focus on surgical elements of her transition, something that sets her apart from most of these vloggers. Maxine's videos are often very long, upwards of twenty minutes, so those of us hyperwired technology natives will need to take breaks during her videos. Given my love-hate relationship with many of the things she has to say in her videos, I fathom I will inevitably write about TrannyGirl15 in the future.
Braunwyne vlogs as Bronwyn031, the link to which can be found here. Her perspective is laid back and highly diary-like, and I appreciate that she occassionally touches on being a trans person of color. Working within the US military, her transition while on the job is of particular interest. Her more recent videos include continuing her physical transition, the effects of marriage inequality in the state in which she lives, moving into adulthood, and her relationship with her wife. Upon her marriage, she and her wife begin to do videos together, sometimes discussing what they call a "trans-lesbian" relationship; thus, the interplay between gender and sexuality is a key topic to see in action through Braunwyne's videos. Personal note: Braunwyne's wife happens to be a friend of mine!
Perhaps my favorite vlogger of all time - trans or cisgender - is Candi, who vlogs under the name CandiFLA. Candi is notable for her incredible male-to-female voice work and the unique manner in which she transitioned. Candi's transition can only be described as slow and methodical; she began transitioning later in life (though she looks very young, she is forty-years-old) and didn't begin living full-time until years into her transition. Candi's patience in transitioning is mirrored by the unique ways in which she comes out to (or rather, how she doesn't come out) to her family and coworkers. At present, she now lives full-time as herself and is partnered, meaning that she now releases videos at a slower pace. Did I also mention that Candi is hilarious? Cuz she is. Given the slow process in which she transitioned, Candi actively mantained a male identity in her day-to-day life for the first few years of her vlogging; in that time, she goes on "dates" with her male and female selves, plays dress-up for the camera, makes suggestive videos about powertools, and brings a lighthearted element to a topic and community that, sadly, feels the serious sting of depression and inequality. Oh, and she loves the boobies.
The last vlogger I will include here is Aydin, an eloquent trans man who focuses on life post-transition. He vlogs under the handle 33Aydin, and his YouTube channel can be accessed by clicking here. Like many of these individuals, I've been following Aydin for several years, but I'll cut my analysis and recommendation short, as I will have more to say about him in an upcoming post.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Hero: Beth Ditto
Sexpertesse occassionally will feature heroes, people who embody the humanistic principles of this blog. My first hero is the beautiful, talented, and wise Beth Ditto.
Ditto is also an inspiration to trans people and their partners; Ditto's partner Freddie is transgender-identified, having transitioned from female-to-male. He and Ditto have been together supposedly since before his transition. Ditto, then, is a rare notable example of a lesbian-identified woman whose partner transitioned into a man. (Though you ladies might have guessed it, Ditto identifies as a femme.)
Given her outness, then, it might come as a suprise that the controversies that surround Ditto don't focus on her sexuality nor her feminist causes, but instead on her weight. Yeah, you read that correctly: in countries where the status and human-ness of LGBT people are under constant scrutiny (and sometimes up to popular vote), the part that really irks people about Ditto is the size of her waist.
Some, including Alex Bilmes of GQ, have criticized Ditto's weight, claiming her media exposure normalizes unhealthy weights. Ditto's weight has also encircled her success as a fashion icon. Appearing in numerous fashion magazines and runway shows, Ditto is arguably the only fullfigured fashion icon. Marie O’Riordan, former editor of Marie Claire, suggests that Ditto is used by the fashion indstury as a human shield against criticism of their size 0 standard. Ditto, thus, O'Riordan claims, is the fashion industry's attempt to avoid being labeled "body fascists." My questions is, though, does it much matter? No matter their intention in hiring Ditto, she still appears on covers, in spreads, and on runways, meaning, invariably, that some young voluptuous person will see her picture and think, "She's beautiful, and so am I," and thus Ditto's body-positive messages are reaching the very people who need them most.
In light of these criticisms, though, Ditto remains dignified, saying, "It's really interesting to me that people will look at a thin person and go, 'That's a healthy person.' To be thin and to stay really thin, some people literally do coke all the time. Some people smoke cigarettes instead of eating. That's crazy. But that's 'okay' because you look healthier." In 2009, Ditto also expanded her body-positive message by releasing a fashion line with Evans, the UK-based plus-size fashion designer and retailer. For readers in the EU, you can purchase some of Ditto's designs by visiting Evans, located here.
"I got my period just 10 minutes before we got there, and I was totally bleeding. I was doing it with my tranny boyfriend, who I’m in love with, and I was totally bleeding — how radical is that? — and I’m a fat person, and I’m a femme." - Beth Ditto about her NME photo shootBeth Ditto is best known as the leader singer of the indie rock, queercore group Gossip. With Gossip, Ditto is an unwavering advocate for LGBT rights and feminist causes. Ditto, who is a lesbian, tackled many LGBT and feminist issues during her stint as an advice columnist for The Guardian. You can read her column, What Would Beth Ditto do?, by clicking here.
Ditto is also an inspiration to trans people and their partners; Ditto's partner Freddie is transgender-identified, having transitioned from female-to-male. He and Ditto have been together supposedly since before his transition. Ditto, then, is a rare notable example of a lesbian-identified woman whose partner transitioned into a man. (Though you ladies might have guessed it, Ditto identifies as a femme.)
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| Beth Ditto and her partner Freddie |
Given her outness, then, it might come as a suprise that the controversies that surround Ditto don't focus on her sexuality nor her feminist causes, but instead on her weight. Yeah, you read that correctly: in countries where the status and human-ness of LGBT people are under constant scrutiny (and sometimes up to popular vote), the part that really irks people about Ditto is the size of her waist.
Some, including Alex Bilmes of GQ, have criticized Ditto's weight, claiming her media exposure normalizes unhealthy weights. Ditto's weight has also encircled her success as a fashion icon. Appearing in numerous fashion magazines and runway shows, Ditto is arguably the only fullfigured fashion icon. Marie O’Riordan, former editor of Marie Claire, suggests that Ditto is used by the fashion indstury as a human shield against criticism of their size 0 standard. Ditto, thus, O'Riordan claims, is the fashion industry's attempt to avoid being labeled "body fascists." My questions is, though, does it much matter? No matter their intention in hiring Ditto, she still appears on covers, in spreads, and on runways, meaning, invariably, that some young voluptuous person will see her picture and think, "She's beautiful, and so am I," and thus Ditto's body-positive messages are reaching the very people who need them most.
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| Ditto at Paris Fashion Week for Spring 2011 collections |
Ditto's fearless acceptance of her body, her sexuality, her trans partner; her commitment to body positivism and equal rights; and her rocking style make her a Sexpertesse hero. Please support her by purchasing music by The Gossip or her 2011 solo EP on Amazon or iTunes. The world needs more people like Beth Ditto, and her continued success in music is what permits her to have a relevant voice.
Ask Sexpertesse: Can I Get an STI from Masturbating?
Dear Sexpertesse,
I'm an eighteen-year-old girl who has never had sex. I started masturbating four years ago, but last week I have had swelling in my vagina. Can you get an STI from mastrubating on your own? I'm scared to go to the doctor because I don't want my mom to know I have been doing this. Please respond.
Dear reader,
Masturbation is a normal and healthy sex practice, and fortunately, it is virtually impossible to acquire a sexually-transmitted infection (STI) from solo masturbating. In order to give yourself an infection, you would already have to be infected and then pass that infection onto your non-infected self. Fortunately, that scenario is a paradox, so it's not possible. (What a load off your shoulders, right?!)
It is possible, though, for a person with an active herpes infection on their hands, foot, or mouth to infect their genitals while masturbating. This phenomenon is fairly rare for a number of reasons, among them, people often are aware of and have treated a wart on their hand, few people can autofellate themselves, etc. However, Reader, this kind of infection manifests as warts, small, raised bumps, on the genitals, and not as swelling, so this case does not apply to you.
Your swelling may be due to a number of factors. Firstly, did you know that the vulva and vagina engorge with blood during sex, giving them a swollen red look and feel? It's possible that you simply didn't notice this natural element of your physiology in the last four years. Secondly, have you recently been masturbating with greater intensity, greater frequency, or have you been forgoing lubrication? If so, give your genitals a few days to rest, and then resume masturbating normally, this time with added lubrication. If your masturbation practices have not changed and the swelling feels unnatural, however, it is time to visit a medical professional, preferrably an gynaecologist, a specialist in female sexual anatomy and health.
You will most likely need to speak to your parent(s) in order to afford to see a doctor. This blog maintains that honest, forthcoming dialogue - even about "tough topics" - is the fastest and most reliable way to greater health, knowledge, and intimacy, so I believe that you should tell your parent(s) about your needs as openly as you can.
However, is speaking to your parent(s) about this topic is completely impossible, you could try two other avenues. First, you could ask your parent(s) to make you an appointment with a gynaecologist, citing that many healthcare professionals suggest that women eighteen-years-old and older should have yearly pelvic exams. If that doesn't work, you should make an appointment with a low-cost healthcare provider in your community; I recommend Planned Parenthood. You can find a Planned Parenthood in your community by clicking here.
Though talking candidly about our sexual concerns, needs, and desires can be scary, it shouldn't be. However, if you are truly in a situation wherein it is impossible to express these feelings, it is important that you visit a healthcare provider that can evaluate your health concerns. Good luck.
I'm an eighteen-year-old girl who has never had sex. I started masturbating four years ago, but last week I have had swelling in my vagina. Can you get an STI from mastrubating on your own? I'm scared to go to the doctor because I don't want my mom to know I have been doing this. Please respond.
Dear reader,
Masturbation is a normal and healthy sex practice, and fortunately, it is virtually impossible to acquire a sexually-transmitted infection (STI) from solo masturbating. In order to give yourself an infection, you would already have to be infected and then pass that infection onto your non-infected self. Fortunately, that scenario is a paradox, so it's not possible. (What a load off your shoulders, right?!)
It is possible, though, for a person with an active herpes infection on their hands, foot, or mouth to infect their genitals while masturbating. This phenomenon is fairly rare for a number of reasons, among them, people often are aware of and have treated a wart on their hand, few people can autofellate themselves, etc. However, Reader, this kind of infection manifests as warts, small, raised bumps, on the genitals, and not as swelling, so this case does not apply to you.
Your swelling may be due to a number of factors. Firstly, did you know that the vulva and vagina engorge with blood during sex, giving them a swollen red look and feel? It's possible that you simply didn't notice this natural element of your physiology in the last four years. Secondly, have you recently been masturbating with greater intensity, greater frequency, or have you been forgoing lubrication? If so, give your genitals a few days to rest, and then resume masturbating normally, this time with added lubrication. If your masturbation practices have not changed and the swelling feels unnatural, however, it is time to visit a medical professional, preferrably an gynaecologist, a specialist in female sexual anatomy and health.
You will most likely need to speak to your parent(s) in order to afford to see a doctor. This blog maintains that honest, forthcoming dialogue - even about "tough topics" - is the fastest and most reliable way to greater health, knowledge, and intimacy, so I believe that you should tell your parent(s) about your needs as openly as you can.
However, is speaking to your parent(s) about this topic is completely impossible, you could try two other avenues. First, you could ask your parent(s) to make you an appointment with a gynaecologist, citing that many healthcare professionals suggest that women eighteen-years-old and older should have yearly pelvic exams. If that doesn't work, you should make an appointment with a low-cost healthcare provider in your community; I recommend Planned Parenthood. You can find a Planned Parenthood in your community by clicking here.
Though talking candidly about our sexual concerns, needs, and desires can be scary, it shouldn't be. However, if you are truly in a situation wherein it is impossible to express these feelings, it is important that you visit a healthcare provider that can evaluate your health concerns. Good luck.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Adam & Eve Stores
Adam & Eve is an upscale chain retail boutique that sells high-end sex and romance products for reasonable prices. Adam & Eve is noteworthy here at Sexpertesse because, unlike any other sex-based retail stores I have encountered, they have eliminated the creepy factor from their stores. Yep, you read that correctly: Adam & Eve is a sex store that isn't creepy. The stores are designed as large warehouse boutiques, so they are well-lit, clean, stylish spaces. Did I mention well-lit? Yes, again, you ready that correctly: Adam & Eve stores aren't dark dungeons where only loveless basement dwellers roam. The stores also don't have "viewing rooms," so at no time will you have the feeling that you are too close to a stranger's penile or vaginal fluids. Indeed, you can even take an online tour of their stores.
Each store is divided into several departments: apparel, toys, videos, novelty items, and safer sex supplies.
The apparel department carries lingerie for both women and men. For women, they offer a variety of styles, and the taste ranges from romantic to suggestive. For men, they offer mostly G-string and boxer underwears, but also carry T-shirts. Being a body-positive company, the stores also carries sizes for fullfigured beauties. Unlike many stores, however, there is no section of less-attractive fashions for larger women; plus-size options are the same styles as traditional ones and are located alongside the smaller sizes, meaning a fullfigured person doesn't need to feel excluded or relegated to another part of the store. In addition to undergarments, Adam & Eve also carries sexy and kitschy apparel, including leatherwares (the kind for leather enthusiasts, not bikers), shoes, wigs, and Halloween costumes.
Adam & Eve's has a wide selection of pornographic video selections in both DVD and Blu-Ray formants. Videos are organized by interest, such as "Asian," "Fetish," "Feature" (feature-length films with in-depth plots), and "Lesbian." Something I really appreciate about their labeling system is that it isn't racist. Yeah, I know it's sad that I need to include this information, but unfortunately, I feel much of pornography devalues people of color with terms like "Ebony sluts" and "Cholo gangbangers." Forunately, Adam & Eve doesn't label their videos in this manner nor do their stores carry these kinds of titles. There is also a rather sizable collection of animated materials for hentai fans. Admittedly, though, I feel Adam & Eve's video selection is their weakest point: they have little gay, lesbian, and bi material, and I couldn't find any lesbian pornography actually made for lesbian/bi women; they also label videos starring fullfigured women "Chunky," a word no larger beauty wishes to be called. To the positive, however, the company labels videos with transsexual performers "Transsexual," which I feel is a positive step away from the offensive terms "shemale" or "chicks with dicks."
The novelty items and safer sex supplies sections are relatively self-explanatory. The novelty items section includes things like birthday cards, cake tins, and sexy playing cards. The section of safer sex supplies includes condoms, dental dams, and lubes for people with latex allergies, too.
Adam & Eve's best department, however, is their sex toy department. The store carries a very wide selection of brand-name, high-quality sex toys such as Doc Johnson and Aneros. They carry everything from traditional vibrators to Cyberskin anal dildos to sleeves. They also sell light BDSM supplies, such as teather restraints and fuzzy handcuffs, as well as slings and whips for rougher practioners. The best part about this department is, though, the supreme service offered by the company's employees: Adam & Eve's employees are great at answering questions you may have about a particular toy and very helpful in finding the right toy for your particular desire. In addition, employees put fresh batteries into each toy before you purchase it to make certain that it works properly.
Adam & Eve has strict privacy and no-judgement policies, meaning that they are very accessible to professional, respectable people as well as LGBTs, people of color, the aged, and people living with disabilities. The chain also specifically markets itself to women and couples, who I would assume (from what I've witnessed) make up the majority of their customers.
Adam & Eve also sells products through their marvelously-designed online store. What, in my opinion, really sets this site apart is their strong search function. For instance, you can eliminate options by type of product, color, material, size, price, etc. Adam & Eve also ships products in unmarked, discreet packaging, meaning that your mailcarrier won't be poking at your sleeve in curiosity. You can access their online store here: Adam & Eve Online Store.
Adam & Eve is an excellent, health-minded, body- and identity-positive company that is professional, wholesome, and high-end. Truly, their format is unlike any other in the industry, and I believe they are worthy of the business of sex-positive people.
Each store is divided into several departments: apparel, toys, videos, novelty items, and safer sex supplies.
The apparel department carries lingerie for both women and men. For women, they offer a variety of styles, and the taste ranges from romantic to suggestive. For men, they offer mostly G-string and boxer underwears, but also carry T-shirts. Being a body-positive company, the stores also carries sizes for fullfigured beauties. Unlike many stores, however, there is no section of less-attractive fashions for larger women; plus-size options are the same styles as traditional ones and are located alongside the smaller sizes, meaning a fullfigured person doesn't need to feel excluded or relegated to another part of the store. In addition to undergarments, Adam & Eve also carries sexy and kitschy apparel, including leatherwares (the kind for leather enthusiasts, not bikers), shoes, wigs, and Halloween costumes.
Adam & Eve's has a wide selection of pornographic video selections in both DVD and Blu-Ray formants. Videos are organized by interest, such as "Asian," "Fetish," "Feature" (feature-length films with in-depth plots), and "Lesbian." Something I really appreciate about their labeling system is that it isn't racist. Yeah, I know it's sad that I need to include this information, but unfortunately, I feel much of pornography devalues people of color with terms like "Ebony sluts" and "Cholo gangbangers." Forunately, Adam & Eve doesn't label their videos in this manner nor do their stores carry these kinds of titles. There is also a rather sizable collection of animated materials for hentai fans. Admittedly, though, I feel Adam & Eve's video selection is their weakest point: they have little gay, lesbian, and bi material, and I couldn't find any lesbian pornography actually made for lesbian/bi women; they also label videos starring fullfigured women "Chunky," a word no larger beauty wishes to be called. To the positive, however, the company labels videos with transsexual performers "Transsexual," which I feel is a positive step away from the offensive terms "shemale" or "chicks with dicks."
The novelty items and safer sex supplies sections are relatively self-explanatory. The novelty items section includes things like birthday cards, cake tins, and sexy playing cards. The section of safer sex supplies includes condoms, dental dams, and lubes for people with latex allergies, too.
Adam & Eve's best department, however, is their sex toy department. The store carries a very wide selection of brand-name, high-quality sex toys such as Doc Johnson and Aneros. They carry everything from traditional vibrators to Cyberskin anal dildos to sleeves. They also sell light BDSM supplies, such as teather restraints and fuzzy handcuffs, as well as slings and whips for rougher practioners. The best part about this department is, though, the supreme service offered by the company's employees: Adam & Eve's employees are great at answering questions you may have about a particular toy and very helpful in finding the right toy for your particular desire. In addition, employees put fresh batteries into each toy before you purchase it to make certain that it works properly.
Adam & Eve has strict privacy and no-judgement policies, meaning that they are very accessible to professional, respectable people as well as LGBTs, people of color, the aged, and people living with disabilities. The chain also specifically markets itself to women and couples, who I would assume (from what I've witnessed) make up the majority of their customers.
Adam & Eve also sells products through their marvelously-designed online store. What, in my opinion, really sets this site apart is their strong search function. For instance, you can eliminate options by type of product, color, material, size, price, etc. Adam & Eve also ships products in unmarked, discreet packaging, meaning that your mailcarrier won't be poking at your sleeve in curiosity. You can access their online store here: Adam & Eve Online Store.
Adam & Eve is an excellent, health-minded, body- and identity-positive company that is professional, wholesome, and high-end. Truly, their format is unlike any other in the industry, and I believe they are worthy of the business of sex-positive people.
Introduction
Hello and welcome to Sexpertesse, a sexological, scientific, and humanistic blog. Sexpertesse is a portmanteau of "sex," "expertise," and "finesse," and in such, Sexpertesse intends to provide relevant, accurate information about all elements of human sexuality; empower people to make healthful sexual decisions; and provide a judgement-free zone in which people may learn, inquire, and comment about the diverse and dynamic realities of human sexual experiences.
Thank you for reading Sexpertesse, and please provide your questions, feedback, and suggestions for future topics by contacting the blogger.
Sincerely,
Your blogger
Thank you for reading Sexpertesse, and please provide your questions, feedback, and suggestions for future topics by contacting the blogger.
Sincerely,
Your blogger
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